Dating as a Single Parent: finding a compatible partner

Are you a single parent navigating the dating scene? You’re certainly not alone. With one in four American children living in single-parent households¹, the chances are high that you’ll encounter other single parents on your journey to finding love. The good news? You don’t have to hide your parental status or worry that it will scare off potential partners. In fact, many singles are eager to date someone who understands the unique joys and challenges of parenthood. In this article, we’ll explore the challenges and benefits of being a single parent and searching for a partner, and we share essential tips for single parents dating to help you connect with like-minded individuals who are ready for a meaningful relationship.

Understanding the challenges of dating with kids

Dating with kids presents unique challenges, but at eharmony, we understand your journey and are here to help you find the right match. We prioritize connecting you with partners who not only share your values but also understand the intricacies of being a single mom or dad. As you step into dating after a divorce or separation, it’s essential to communicate your parental status early on, ensuring honesty from the start. This transparency will establish trust and help your date navigate their feelings about becoming involved with your family. With our tailored approach, you can focus on building meaningful connections, knowing that we support you every step of the way. Start with our Compatibility Quiz to find a partner who respects your role as a parent, while sharing in your vision for the future.

Benefits of dating as a single parent

Dating as a single parent may seem daunting, but it can offer numerous rewards that enrich your life and that of your children. First and foremost, seeking companionship helps fulfill your emotional and social needs. Establishing a loving relationship sets a positive example for your children, showing them the importance of healthy connections.

Additionally, the dating landscape has become increasingly accommodating to single parents, with online dating sites and apps tailored specifically for those in your situation. If you decide to start dating another single dad or a single mom, you’ll explore shared understanding and empathy. You don’t have to explain certain aspects of life, as they already comprehend challenges that are unique to parenthood. Mutual experiences create a sense of grace and understanding, and foster a connection that may be challenging to establish with someone without children. This shared background allows for greater empathy in navigating the complexities of balancing work, parenting, and a love life.

In essence, dating as a single parent not only enriches your own life but also contributes to a nurturing environment for your children, fostering love, connection, and growth for the entire family.

10 Tips for dating as a single parent

Navigate life with finesse as you step back into the romantic arena with these insightful single parent dating tips.

Identify your dating purpose

One of eharmony’s relationship experts, Laurel House, explains: “People date for 3 purposes: Fun, Exploration/Expansion, and [to find a] Committed Relationship. What’s your purpose? Make sure that your purpose and your style of dating align. Your life, your purpose, and possibly your identity may have shifted since becoming a parent. You might be in a place where you just want to have fun again and not feel like a parent all the time. Or maybe you are exploring this new identity and are exploring what type of partner is best for you within this new expanded identity. Or maybe you are truly in a place where you are ready to be in a relationship again. No matter which purpose you are pursuing now, get clarity on your priorities in order to show up confidently, then communicate openly with your date about what you’re looking for now.”

Unpack your suitcases

Any relationship comes with baggage. It’s important to make sure you’re clear on what went wrong, how it affected you, and what you learned from it before you start a new relationship; otherwise, you risk making the same mistakes.

Foster open dialogue with your kids about dating

Before stepping into the dating arena, single parents can benefit from initiating discussion with their kids about the idea of dating. Start by asking thoughtful questions like, “How would you feel if I started seeing someone?” and revisit these conversations regularly. For example, you might explore ideas such as, “What if I started dating Lisa more often?” or “How would it be if Mark’s children joined us for weekend activities?” These ongoing discussions help gauge your children’s feelings and ensure they feel included in the process.

Release guilt

It’s vital to release any guilt about prioritizing your dating life. Demonstrating to your children that pursuing happiness and fulfilling relationships is important for their well-being sets a positive example. Be upfront about your situation on dates—let potential partners know that dating you comes with the understanding of your family responsibilities.

Go slow

This applies to any kind of relationship, but especially when you’re dating as a single parent. Take your time getting to know your date and make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to your expectations, your parenting styles, and the future of your relationship.

Be flexible

The one constant thing about being a parent is that things change. Working around your kids’ schedules means needing to be creative about how you spend time together – so consider breakfast dates, running errands together, or perhaps even family dates.

Be upfront and understanding your dual role

As any single parent will tell you, juggling the responsibilities of raising children while seeking love can be quite the endeavor! Balancing these two important aspects of life requires thoughtful consideration and communication. While you don’t want to give too many details at the beginning of your dating journey, there’s nothing to be gained by hiding the fact that you’re a single parent who’s dating.

Lets your kids go at their own pace

One of the worst things you can do when dating as a single mom or dad is to try and force a relationship between your partner and your kids. Encourage them to spend time together, and step in depending on how things are going. Though on the whole, it’s best to let kids decide what kind of relationship they want.

Establish Boundaries with Your Time

Establishing boundaries with your time is another key factor. Create a clear schedule that allows you to balance your dating life with your parenting responsibilities. Communicate your availability and limitations to your date to foster understanding and manage expectations from the start. Be mindful not to overcommit to dating and ensure that quality time with your children remains a priority.

Celebrate Your Independence

Lastly, celebrate your independence as a single mom or dad. It’s essential to engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy outside of parenting responsibilities. Pursuing personal interests not only enhances your well-being, but also enriches your dating life by allowing you to present a fuller picture of who you are to potential partners. Share your passions with your date to create an opportunity for deeper connection. Encourage your children to explore their own interests as well, modeling healthy independence that promotes a balanced family dynamic.

Jenny and Chris’ single parent dating success story

Concerned that being a single parent might hinder your chances of finding love? So was Jen. After the end of her twelve-year relationship, she turned to eharmony in search of someone special. Jen emphasizes the importance of recognizing that “deserving happiness is a significant first step” towards rediscovering love.

Dating as a single mom, it was crucial for Jen to find a partner who was comfortable with her prioritizing her children. In 2013, she connected with Chris, who also had a daughter. Their connection was immediate, initiated by an icebreaker from Jen, and they spent countless hours getting to know each other through eharmony’s messaging service. Discovering numerous commonalities and shared values, they both felt a sense of excitement.

Jen described meeting Chris as a reawakening, and Chris, too, sensed something extraordinary from their very first phone call, experiencing “goosebumps.” After a year of dating, they tied the knot in 2014 and welcomed a baby girl a year later.

“We were married a year after matching on eharmony and our daughter was born in 2015”

Jenny & Chris

Start navigating love as a single parent

Dating as a single parent may present unique challenges, but it also offers the potential for rich, rewarding relationships. By understanding the intricacies of single parent dating and setting realistic expectations, single parents can navigate the dating landscape with confidence. Remember, love is out there waiting for you. With patience and perseverance you can find someone who understands and appreciates the beautiful complexity of your life as a single parent. Explore your dating options today and take the first step towards finding love.